Joe

Exactly one week ago I lost my best friend, my soul-mate, my everything; Joe. He was taken out of this world by a random act of violence in New Orleans while serving in AmeriCorps NCCC. 

Joe was everything I wanted in a man and more. He was sexy, funny, compassionate, forgiving, generous, respectful and every other good quality imaginable. 

He treated me like an absolute princess, every single day. 

He would find me in the hall after a shower and tell me how beautiful he thought I was. 

On the very last night we spent together, we were laying in bed and he was telling me all the things he liked about me. Me, being my insecure self, disagreed, and he got upset. Then he pulled me to the mirror and showed me how beautiful I am. 

Anytime I was in a bad mood, he would hold me and tell me that everything would be alright because he would take care of it, and he did. 

He constantly stood up for me when someone would say anything but nice things to me, even if they were joking. 

He was an amazing kisser. 

His personality was so huge and happy, everyone knew him and everyone loved him. 

On cold nights, he would rather wear nothing than watch me shiver. 

All if these things, AND MORE, I learned after only knowing him for a couple of days. We may have only known each other for 2 months, but it didn't matter. We cared about each other more than anyone else. Whenever I was with him, I was filled with happiness. The way he looked at me melted me. I loved him with every ounce of my being, and I just wish I could tell him that again. 

I'm so grateful to have so many beautiful memories with Joe.

He made my life a living fairy tale. A fairy tale that should have continued.

I miss him more every day. But I know that he is being taken care of wherever he is, because he deserves it more than anyone I know. Joe touched the life of everyone he met and I know he is being missed by thousands.

They tell me I'm {beautiful}

Going into Americorps there was a lot I didn't know. A LOT.

But one thing I defintely did not know, was that my confidence would be sky rocketing.

Complete strangers tell me I am beautiful.

They tell me I am beautiful when I haven't even tried.

They tell me I am beautiful every day. 

And the reason they do it is not because they feel like they have to, but because they want to. 

The word beautiful has never been said to me this many times by virtual strangers.

I don't know what I did to deserve this sort of princess treatment.

The people of Americorps NCCC are special, lovely people that I wouldn't be happy without. 

The people are what makes the program so enjoyable.

Amanda and Taylor. My girls. My support.

Destine to be BFFs since we first Facebooked! <3

My main boys. George and Brendyn.

Matt. Teammate and awesome friend.

Some of my favorites before a night out in Vicksburg.

Nick. The best hugger EVER

Joe. <3 <3 <3 

Katelyn! The first person I met in the airport. Sweetest girl ever.

Class 19. The best class ever. Love them all.

how to win a date 101

It was a Sunday evening just like any other.

HAHAHA

okay, no it wasn't.

I had way too much caffine yesterday and as a result, I went slightly cray cray.

And by cray cray, I mean I went to all of my clostest FB friends...

and starting liking every. single. one. of. their. profile. pictures.
I'm pretty sure I liked about 1,000 pictures, no joke.

As I was doing this, I started to get a lot of cyber attention.

and everyone loves that.

This is in chronological order of how things happened...

Wall posts... :)

My status... 

Read these in the order I numbered them... :) 

Sydney's status...

Wall posts.... :)

My sister's lovely posting of this picture...

And then, this morning.........

 And, that, my friends, is how you win a date.
check all this out for yourself on my facebookpage...

the past little while.

the past two weeks have been the best time, practically, ever.

 And I want to tell you all about it, 

but I don't want to bore you. 

So, in picture form, the past couple of weeks have been like this. 

to start things off, MY BEST FRIEND CAME HOME!!!!

Christmas Eve. Sister Love.

Christmas Day we went to Les Mis with a ton of fiends.

My other best friend came home, and we played in the snow :)

I had an absolutely amazing night with best friends. Before we went to Chilies Friday, we had a mini photoshoot.

At Chilies we met up with a few other friends and my boyfriend.
Who isn't really my boyfriend.
But I pretend he is.
And that we have been dating for like 7 months.
He's okay with this.
Chase, btw. :)

After Chilies we went to my house and watched Pitch Perfect.
Always Pitch Perfect.

Next adventure was CSI basketball watching with my faves.

After the game, we got in the car and drove to Jack in the Box ( I know, ew)
But I ate my first bite of beef in 4 YEARS!
Big deal.
I felt sick.

And next came New Years Eve.
Which was possible the best night ever.
I spent it with so many people, and I just wish I had taken more pictures.
We went party hopping and saw a ton of old friends.
At midnight, I kissed Kable... because he is my best friend and there is no better person :) 

That about sums up the amazingness of my life.

At least my favorite moments.

Everyday was full, exciting, and fun. 

So blessed with amazing people. 

<3 

one million memories.

Even though 2012 was probably the most challenging and hard year yet, it made me 10X stronger. I learned so much about myself, my family, and my friends. I made new relationships, lost some old, and made some ultimately stronger. I spent 2012 with the most amazing people on this planet. I just want to thank each and every person involved for making my life the special story it is. I wouldn't trade my life for any other. 

in 2012 I...

• GRADUATED
• made countless friends
• found myself
• went to my first concert
• started a blog
• ate beef for the first time since 8th grade
• enjoyed life
• took part in 2 stage productions
• got accepted into AmeriCorps
• met new people
• made 100 skype calls
• fell in love
• became happy
• said goodbye
• lost trust/gained trust
• smiled everyday
• had an amazing year
• spent the night in the hospital
• saw Les Mis on stage and in theaters
• got addicted to Pinterest
• took a billion pictures
• loved every second of it

201213

let's do this.

I found something that perfectly describes my life.

I am going to frame this and hang it in my room.

for once.

this is all I want for Christmas, one thing. 

the one thing I know I shouldn't have.

and shouldn't ask for.

but the one thing I am dying for.

always back to that feeling.

Sometimes that's okay, most times it isn't. To go back, I mean.
One day you are just going along, loving life, being happy.
The next you're forced back to the past, unhappy with too many thoughts, in the arms of a stranger that you know.
All I know now, is that I wish I could rewind the weekend.
Take it back a couple of days and figure things out.
Make it different.
That way, I wouldn't have this terrible thought looming in my once free mind.
And. . . if only I could make things right for those who are getting hurt.
They don't know how badly they are getting hurt, but of course, I do.
It's kept somewhat of a secret.
A deathly secret.
Whenever I feel this way, I sleep a lot.
Because more sleep means less thinking.
Unless I dream. . .
That's why I slept for 12 hours last night.
These are the feelings that make me want to leave today.
Get on a plane and leave it all behind.

But what I really need to do is shake it off.

Because, when you look at my life, it is still really amazing and happy.

And I am leaving in about 2 months, which is crazy.

So, I have to live it up.

I can't let this one person get me down, like always.

I have to make this about me.

Me.

and only me.

Something I can never do, but I am going to try incredibly hard to do just that.

My best friend is in town!

And that's enough to make me happy for a lifetime.

Anyways, here is a cute pic:

9 DAYSSS

WARNING: THIS IS ALL I AM GOING TO BE ABLE TO BLOG ABOUT FOR THE NEXT MONTH!

prepare yourself for the best news of the entire existence of my life. . . 

but seriously, be ready. . . 

MY BEST FRIEND IS COMING HOME FROM COLLEGE IN LIKE 9 DAYSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that is all.

have a nice day.

carry on. 

<3 

night time thinker.

occasionally

every so often 

a few times a week

every day

every second of every day.

i think about every mistake, memory, laugh, cry, and moment.

those moments that are forever imprinted in your mind. . . 

even when you have tried everything to erase them, even magic erasers.

nothing, still there.

and it isn't easy.

just when I think that's it, my hearts like: "haha, yeah right."

boo heart.

and even though I adore Pinterest with every ounce of my being, 

i think it is the little fuel keepin' this love fire burnin'.

poetic.

ha.

this board.

and I sometimes think, STOP PINNING TO IT!

but I can't.

whateves homie g nizzle.

thug.

okay, sorry, it is late and I have not yet recovered from Black Friday.

. . .and then there is this last one.

this one that seems like I may have written myself.

because it perfectly describes my feelings.

and I can't stop reading and reading it.