‎1 week. 7 days. 168 hours. 10,080 minutes. 604,800 seconds. Woah.

I leave in a week.

ONE WEEK.

and I can't even explain my feelings right now.

People ask me if I am excited.

I say yes.

People ask me if I am nervous.

I say yes. 

People ask me if I am ready.

I say yes.

People tell me not to go.

I say yes.

People tell me they are excited for me.

I say yes.

People tell me it will be a great experience.

I say yes.

I say yes becuase I don't know what else to feel.

I have no emotion about this.

I am excited, scared, nervous, ready, happy, sad, mad, overwhelmed, ect.

But how many feels can one girl feel? 

Apparently, a lot.

And in a week; hello new home. 

When you're about to leave...

you realize who really cares about you
and who doesn't
you talk to new people
you feel alone even in a crowded room
you realize how much you have yet to do
you make 500 lists
you wish it was tomorrow or a year from now
you get stressed out
you cry over everything
you hug your mom all the time
you start packing early
you scramble to get everything done
you feel like you'll never make it
you research everything
you get really excited


it all depends on the day.
but moving on, leaving, changing...
are all good things.
and i am ready.

now boarding the plane to birthday fun.

I just purchased a ticket to go see Kable over my birthday!!!!!

Next Thursday I will be boarding a plane to Seattle and I couldn't be happier.

Or more excited.

Best birthday present ever. 

Thanks, self. 

one million memories.

Even though 2012 was probably the most challenging and hard year yet, it made me 10X stronger. I learned so much about myself, my family, and my friends. I made new relationships, lost some old, and made some ultimately stronger. I spent 2012 with the most amazing people on this planet. I just want to thank each and every person involved for making my life the special story it is. I wouldn't trade my life for any other. 

in 2012 I...

• GRADUATED
• made countless friends
• found myself
• went to my first concert
• started a blog
• ate beef for the first time since 8th grade
• enjoyed life
• took part in 2 stage productions
• got accepted into AmeriCorps
• met new people
• made 100 skype calls
• fell in love
• became happy
• said goodbye
• lost trust/gained trust
• smiled everyday
• had an amazing year
• spent the night in the hospital
• saw Les Mis on stage and in theaters
• got addicted to Pinterest
• took a billion pictures
• loved every second of it

201213

let's do this.

case-a-comin'

I should prolly be a philosopher.

This morning I woke up with the greatest epiphany ever.

after realizing last night that the world is experiencing different days at different times.

(don't ask me why I forgot about that)

it came to me.

 it is already 12.21.2012 in other countries.

and I was am still alive.

holy goodness gracious.

I am sure that other people have probably already had this thought, 

but i didn't even read it anywhere and steal it.

I just woke with the thought.

yeah, i'm fairly legit.

is it February yet?

 So, I know that literally 2 posts ago I was talking about Mississippi and how scared I was. was.

over the past couple of days, i have met most everyone who I will be going with! what, what?

and we have a facebook group.

where we all talk.

and it seems as though everyone likes the same things! what, what!?

This is where everyone is coming from.

obvi.

(sorry about the blurriness...)

then last night, we had an 85 comment post about video games, movies, and the end of the world.

it was so funny!

and it made me get really, really excited :D 

and then, one of the guys had this awesome idea to make videos of ourselves before we actually meet.

which I think is the coolest idea, ever.

I am sorry, but also not sorry, that I am sharing these conversations with you.

because I know they seem like everyday friend's conversations, 

I just met these people on Sunday. . . 

new faces, far away places.

As the days pass by and it gets closer to 2.11.2013, my mind has become more and more overwhelmed with thoughts, questions, worries. 

It's true, and I know this, that I over think every situation, ever.

But how could I not over think this one? I am about to make a courageous move in the game of life.

and all I can do is sit and wait and wonder.

Until 2.11.2013

the day I leave for Mississippi for 10 months.

and even though I know this will be an amazing journey, I can't help but to think that I will hate it.

One good thing though: over the past couple of days, I have met (via Facebook) about 6 people who are also going to Mississippi on 2.11.2013

my thoughts are going to keep escalating, I know that, but I am just hoping my excitement will too.

well about seventy days until I go. . . 

perspective.

Over the past few months I have been really struggling with my future. 

It's a scary thing, future.

We never know how it is going to pan out.

But on the other hand, that is a very magical thing.

Not knowing. 

One thing I do know for sure is your future is what you make it.

And if we do what we want to make it how we envision it. . . won't it be how you wanted it to pan out?

Yes.

How great is it that we are allowed to decide for ourselves how we choose to live?

I am so grateful to have such a blank view of my future.

Even though it is scarier than ghosts.

boo.

Americorps NCCC

TODAY I GOT THE EMAIL THAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!!!!!!!!

THE EMAIL THAT DECIDES MY FUTURE COMPLETELY!!!!!!

IT READ: 

Congratulations! You have been conditionally selected to serve at the AmeriCorps NCCC Southern Region Campus in Vicksburg, MS. Your term of service begins on February 11, 2013. 

I AM SO EXCITED THAT I COULD SCREAM IT TO EVERYONE I PASS BY! 

AHHHH! I AM GOING TO VICKSBURG! 

HAVE YOU SEEN VICKSBURG? IT'S GORGEOUS! 

I AM SO SO SO EXCITED!

I JUST OPENED MY EMAILS TODAY, NOT EXPECTING ANYTHING, AND I GOT THE BEST NEWS EVER!!!!

I AM SO BLESSED! AHHHH!

(sorry for the all caps. . . actually not sorry) :)